• EnrichHER Team

Pushing Past The "No" Paradigm


From the time you were aware of language enough to assign meaning to sound, you learned how to articulate and manipulate the word, ”NO.” As children, each time your tiny hand reached out to the hot stove, you heard an adult yell out, “No, don’t touch.” You hear the word, No, all the time from adults and children alike. My close friend Janice has a son named Ryan; and every time she tells him it is time for a nap, he stands his ground and says, “No No Mommy.” Those two letters N and O From henceforward, one of the smallest words in our English language, became a subconscious barrier not only between you and a physical object but also between you and your goals. We don’t realize how much we are programmed by the word, “NO,” until we are adults looking to achieve great success. The fear of rejection is enough to stop someone’s progress.


For example, Jarred Smith always dreamt of being a doctor. In undergrad Jarred made sure his marks were well above the required grade point average to get into Baylor School of Medicine. In his Junior year of undergrad, Jarred began to apply to various medical schools. He received 5 acceptance letters from top tier schools; however, Jarred was dismayed to find that he was denied access into Baylor School of medicine. Surely Jarred should have been elated to receive the 5 acceptance letters, but the one denial letter from the school of his choice altered his entire outlook on becoming a doctor.


Often, we find ourselves in the same predicament as Jarred, focusing on the single negative event when you have 5 positive things going unnoticed simultaneously. Learning to push past the subconscious programming of the word NO is a key step in achieving your goals. There are 2 key factors to help you push past your No Programming so that you have the esteem to achieve your set goals:


Block out your Fear of Rejection.

Often the fear of someone saying no or denying you access is enough to stop you in your tracks. You have to change how you feel about no. There is an old saying, “No is just a baby that is dying to say yes.” You have to counter your denial and be persistent. If you are denied entry into the front door, consider using the back door and if you are told you can’t go into the back door there is always the window. You have to be vehement in your approach that you will gain access to your goal.


Keep your Enthusiasm.

Often when we are told no we take a proverbial shot to the heart and all of the excitement we had for our goal is depleted in an instant. It is our job to shake off our denial and move forward with even more vigor and excitement than we had before we were told no. Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said, “Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it, nothing great was ever achieved.” The greatest accomplishments in history came to be because the author or inventor was convinced, they had a great idea or product and they had the ability to sell their idea or product to others. The enthusiastic energy that you use to convince yourself is what it takes to move forward and realize your greatness.


Unlock Greatness!

 Michael Jordan, one of the most famous basketball players was denied a spot on the varsity team in his sophomore year of high school as he was deemed too short at 5’11. Jordan did not take this denial as defeat, he practiced hard, and the following summer he grew four inches. If Michael Jordan let the word, “NO,” determine his career, he would have not become the McDonald’s All-American player his Senior year. Jordan would not have gone on to play college basketball for North Carolina Tarheels and win NCAA championships. Certainly, if Jordan gave up, he would not have become the legend that won 6 championships with the Chicago Bulls. Jordan pushed past the No paradigm and was able to shift into his greatness; which is a lesson that we all should learn to apply in our own lives.


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